No banana sheaves, please

OK, I know it won't make a darn bit of difference to me, but being buried in banana sheaves just doesn't do it for me.

I have no desire to be the dead fruit wrapped in the sheaves.

Yes, I know there are naturalists who want to be buried in biodegradable coffins made of recycled newspapers (which doesn't sound too bad to me since that's the industry in which I've made my living for nearly 40 years) or cardboard, but banana sheaves go beyond the line, in my book.

Ecoffins USA, based in Montrose, Colo., is selling caskets made of banana sheaves that take six months to two years to biodegrade, and at least 14 funeral homes around the nation have begun offering them.

In such natural burials, bodies are not embalmed and decompose into the earth, which I have to admit doesn't sound too bad to me, but that doesn't mean I want to be the banana in the sheaves.